003rd Too Slow for Boston Results

Ed Masuoka: 003rd Too Slow for Boston Marathon Winner

and Current Course Record Holder as of 2012.

The 003rd Too Slow for Boston Marathon will likely be remembered for the absence of the regular Race Director (and the speculation that Shannon Haney is actually LT/SGT Jay), as well as the numerous cancellations that are actually typical of BMS events (and which are not discouraged: low key = no pressure).

2012 was also the first year we had the BLNT (Better Luck Next Time/Bacon Lettuce No Tomato) sandwich for the fastest (dead last place) runner, a trophy that isn't made out of pie tins and duct tape, and the first time we didn't uncrown a winner and take money back from him.

Runners lied and said they had a good time. Don't be fooled by all those smiles in the photographs. Seven out-and-backs can't possibly make for a fun marathon. I don't know though; I wasn't there.

The lovely, wonderful, perfect wife of the race director took over RD duties for the event, which contributed greatly to the lack of mistakes in managing the event. Her positive attitude, in contrast to the regular RD's general curmudgeonliness, gave this BMS event an uncharacteristically positive vibe.

John Love was able to break Tim Albertson's course record from last year of 6:53:03, with a 7:52:45. But, it was only good enough for 3rd place this year. Wendy Mitchell finished in second place with a 7:53:37. Ed Masuoka, coming of an 8-hour+ finish the day before, established a new TSFB Course Record with an 8:32:00.*

Ken Brooks was forced to eat a sandwich for running too fast, and Wade Grimes became the first TSFB/Boston Finisher. Others were able to tally another marathon or at least some quality miles. Despite the weather, Jon Turner was able to make it to the start.

Somewhere in Missouri, a man was running through the streets barefoot when he should have been directing a race in North Carolina.

That about sums it up, so enough rambling, here are the results and photos:

Marathon Finishers

1 - Ed Masuoka: 8:32:00 Winner, Course Record

2 - Wendy Mitchell: 7:53:37 First Runner-Up

3 - John Love: 7:52:45 Second Runner-Up

4 - Becki Middlebrooks: 6:47:00

4 - Wayne Sherman: 6:47:00

6 - Jill Bidwell: 5:41:07

6 - Sherry Coffield: 5:41:07

6 - Daniel Lieb: 5:41:07

6 - Jon Turner: 5:41:07

10 - Ken Brooks: 5:10:50 <---- BLNT

Bandit Runner** - Wade Grimes: 3:52:59 First Person to Ever Finish TSFB AND The Boston Marathon

Equally Worthy Competitors with Less than Marathon Distances

Janette Maas, 6 Miles: Untimed

Walter Ogelsby, 22.5 Miles: 6:17:00***

Photos

Top, Left to Right: Wendy Mitchell, Becki Middlebrooks,

Sherry Coffield, Jill Bidwell, and Wayne Sherman. Bottom,

Left to Right: Jon Turner, Daniel Lieb, Ed Masuoka,

Janette Maas, and John Love.

Daniel Lieb, Jill Bidwell, and Sherry Coffield.

in the background.

Walter Ogelsby displaying perfect race-walk form.

Jon Turner and Wayne Sherman.

Wayne Sherman and Jon Turner.

Bobby Cordell, Daniel Lieb, Jill Bidwell, Sherry Coffield,

and Janette Maas.

Ed Masuoka, Daniel Lieb, Jill Bidwell, and a few others in the

background.

John Love and Ken Brooks.

Shit, I don't know, a bunch of you guys.

Daniel Lieb, Sherry Coffield, and Jill Bidwell.

Wendy Mitchell, what looks like Ken Brooks finishing, and

John Love.

The BLNT Sandwich. Better Luck Next Time. You weren't

even close to being slow enough to win, Ken.

The sandwich again, the out-take.

Wade Grimes. The only man to run The Boston

Marathon and the Too Slow for Boston Marathon.

An appropriate pose for the occasion.

Daniel Lieb, sporting a shirt from last year's event.

Wayne Sherman crossing paths with Becki Middlebrooks.

Janette Maas, Daniel Lieb, Jill Bidwell, Jon Turner,

and Sherry Coffield.

My favorite photo from the race. Ken Brooks enjoying his

fastest-runner-sandwich.

Ken Brooks, after finishing, and Wendy Mitchell.

Ken Brooks.

John Love, sporting the sweat-faded bib number.

Wayne Sherman and Becki Middlebrooks.

John Love.

John Love and Wendy Mitchell.

Wendy Mitchell and John Love.

Wendy Mitchell receiving her 2nd Place check, along with

Daniel Lieb.

Wendy Mitchell receiving her 2nd Place check, along with

Daniel Lieb.

Wendy Mitchell finishing.

John Love receiving his 3rd Place check.

John Love receiving his 3rd Place check, along with Daniel Lieb.

Ed Masuoka with the trophy, Winner's Medal, and laurel wreath.

Ed Masuoka shortly after finishing.

Ed Masuoka finishing his Marathon.

Daniel Lieb, Becki Middlebrooks, Ken Brooks, John Love,

Keith Mundis, and Wayne Sherman standing in the middle

of the damn road.

Ed Masuoka with all of his winner's bling.

Ed Masuoka with his well-deserved winnings.

* For the record, John Love and Wendy Mitchell each technically owned the course record for an infinitely small time-span. I'm not sure if this is the case with Ed, but for TSFB events, if seconds are not recorded, runners are given "00." In all other BMS events, runner's who do not list their seconds receive an automatic "59," but because of the nature of TSFB, "00" is used.

** Wade is a Boston Marathon Qualifier and Finisher, which makes him a Tier I Bandit. Bandits are OFFICIAL Bandits, which means they are considered official runners, with the only restriction being that they

*** For only the second time in BMS history, a runner completed 6 laps without completing at least the marathon distance. These instances are rare, and are usually due to a runner's stubbornness to complete as many miles as they can. In short, they probably should have stopped much earlier in the race, and it is commendable and the exemplification of the one runner characteristic highlighted at TSFB events: Stubbornness.